Maybe time is neither linear nor pretending to be! We learn past-, present- and future- tenses as soon as we learn to speak. And like so much in life, language makes the rules. And so often, there is more emphasis on “yesterday I was…” and “tomorrow I will be…”. What happened to “today I am…”?
Sitting on a ferry, “duty free” for 3 hours as between countries in an ocean that knows no master… so no duties. We float from mountainous Norway to flat Denmark. I have a sense that the landscapes we are moving between are no coincidence. I feel somewhat weathered by the ever-changing, ever-testing, usually-cold-and-or-rainy-and-or-windy climate of Norway. And have a sense of smooth-sailing on the horizon… even if just for a little while. As if there is about to be a moment for the dust to settle (once these north-westerly winds blowing over southern Norway and Denmark lose steam… maybe there’s waves on the horizon?).
I am reminded of Lilah’s words about these waters. That I must spend time in the water between Denmark/Scandinavia and the UK. Well, here I am! And it feels right. Almost 2 months of reconnecting with myself and Joakim on the same planet on which we exist together, through what feels like every season possible for a South African. Maybe not for a Swede.
We drove onto the ferry this morning a day earlier than planned, which makes me feel like I’ve grown up a bit. Content with doing/being as it is and not trying to squeeze every drop out of my surroundings for the sake of it. Rather pour every drop of myself into every moment, feed the present with my presence and be here.
We pack our camping gear and set ourselves up on the outside deck. On goes the gas stove and any doubts around “can we use gas on the ferry?” blow away into the icey wind. Warm coffee. With milk. Creamy oats. With toppings. A block of chocolate to start. We really are 2 dirty vagabonds experiencing a 5 star meal with the best seats in the North Sea. Not to mention our semi-human Mercedes Benz, Sigrid. She warms our bums, knows when it’s raining and when it’s okay not to wear a seatbelt. She also turns the lights off when it’s time for bed. Sometimes she gets bored of being so perfect and awesome that she sounds the handbrake alarm for fun. Never for too long though. Our girl!
But back to the 2 dirty vagabonds – like all good humans on the move we need to survey the area and make sure living/eating/sleeping/peeing is okay-ish. This time just cooking obviously. An older couple catches my eye. Seated at the next table, doing just the same as us. Wrapped up in layers, scarves, beanies and making a proper home-cooked meal. Home because that’s what they look like: at home in themselves where they are. Maybe the tea towel table cloth helped – note taken. Warm coffee, bread, butter, fruit, yoghurt… the whole shabang! They have been doing this a while… “we have a lot to learn” says Joakim, always humble.
Looking at them… two souls in bodies weathered by adventure, with hearts fed by shared experience, wrinkled skin telling the tale of every eye crinkling smile, mouth cracking laugh and brow furroughing cry… I saw our future. But it wasn’t “in the future” or separate from now. Our future was sitting next to us on the ferry. Because our future is always part of what we are now. It’s not happening later, it’s being created now. Time is not linear, and today I was reminded that it doesn’t pretend to be either.
It’s all now… now… now…!